Well I had a great day boys and girls. "Why was it so great?" you may ask. Well it was a particular patient that made my day. So today I went out on a call to pick up a patient for a psych eval. Well When we get there he is waiting out front with two of the staff. Now this guy is dressed in boots, Jeans, a camoflage photographers vest and a boonie cap. He carries his worldly possessions on his back for he is a street prophet (fanfare) and one thing I have learned. Street Prophets are a voice in the silence, a candle in the darkness, a brilliantly stark perception snap. So this guy starts out by telling my partner and I "Well I have been seeing alot of alligators lately and it is beginning to scare me"

Fair enough.....

So then he proceeds to tell us he has also been seeing people fall out of trees. But it does not stop there. The people would then rush away in blue pick up trucks.

Ummm Ok. How about lets go to the hospital where you can get some meds

Yessir thats what I need. SO he gets in the Ambulance. Now normally I do not relish the thought of being in a 4 fot by 8 foot space with a guy who has in all likelyhood not had a shower since dinosaurs roamed the Earth and puppies were the oldest mammals, but I had to hang out for a minute or two while he explained to my partner about how the people falling out of the trees incessantly call out for help but then change their mind and told him "we are alright now" right as he gets near them. Hallucinations can be quite fickle like that. He then explained that he had injured the back of his head when he was younger and when they fixed it they put in a volume knob.

Oh yes....
You know you want to ask...I certainly did

What is that for? "Well you can stick your finger in the back of my head and mess with it so I can hear everything or turn it down so I can't hear a thing"

I could not make this shit up people

Well then.....I guess I did ask.....Anywyas We drive this guy to the hospital. During the trip he tells us about his life. He was a jet pilot in the afgani air force (russians made him do it) he had also learned how to fly a helicopter (apparently this guy he knew taught him how in an afternoon) And he had been "satanically abused" in some foreign country accidentally.

I resisted the teptation....oh yes...it was difficult

He had also joined the Army Reserves but was tracked down for being AWOL. Well he did not mean to be AWOL he had apparently gotten so stoned that he forgot to show up. So, as he tells it "A lietenant came to my door and my uncle answered it and said 'hey some army guy is here' and thats when he took me to the back yard where he had landed a helicopter to take me, and four other guys he found, back to the Army."

Right as he says this I pull into the WWBH parking lot only to hear the angels sing as a LifeStar helicopter was doing a slow approach to the LZ a mere 40 feet from the road.

I slowed down and rolled the windows down to get the sound to travel to the back of the ambulance. And this is when he tells us he was a ranger with "Navy Seal hand to hand combat" training. He then tells us the one revelation that made my day.

"STEVE IRWIN IS TRYING TO GET ME TO HUNT CROCODILES AS WORK"

Yes boys and girls.....Steve irwin had apparently only 2 days prior told this man to carry on with his work.

For those of you that have absolutley no conciousness and have not heard one way or another, Steve Irwin, the delightfully clever, witty, kind, good hearted, stereotypically Australian, Crocodile Hunter died earlier this week. Like 4 days earlier.

Well...I guess thats what people call a "calling"

So we get him inside and turned over to the staff who upon inventorying his belongings find a camouflage net (apparently to conceal himself while hunting aforementioned reptiles)

Wow....I love my job. It is days like this I know I am witnessing a side of life I could not see anywhere else. Not in any other Job. So the next time you see a Street Prophet looking for work or looking for some spare change think about it....they could be a crocodile hunter just taking some time off from their real job....or maybe a superhero...or a prince in rags. They are all kings in my book.